You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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