I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Who died my cat blue again?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
