You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize