If i come over, it means nothing
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
