White coat. Heels.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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