Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
