Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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