i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
