**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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