marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
