K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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