Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
