I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
youre lurking in front of me
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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