It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
