her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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