brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
