Duck Duck Cougar?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
