Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
