you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
