Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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