well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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