You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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