i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
