just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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