when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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