come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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