Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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