Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
