this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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