we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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