i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
