what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my shit smells like andre
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
