I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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