I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
