Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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