i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
