Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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