2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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