I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
