I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
