I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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