so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
