living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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