my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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