I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
