She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
