so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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