my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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