If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
