Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
