Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
How does one acquire holy water?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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