Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
