Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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